What Am I Doing Here????
So… are you curious about what I’m doing all day while hubby is at work? No? Well, I will tell you anyway… I am accomplishing the Number One item on my list of ‘What I Will Do in Australia’ and that is: Nothing. Not a thing. J Ok, that’s not quite accurate; I am getting things done. But not what people expected me to do. And I’m okay with that, because my reality and those expectations are nowhere near the same. This trip, for me, was MY TIME. For the first time in my life, I would have no obligations.
This type of lifestyle is a huge departure for me. I am regimented. I have things to do and people that depend on me, and it’s been that way as long as I can remember. I went from childhood home to marriage to children/work/life/divorce/remarriage with no ‘me’ time in there anywhere. I am always up at 5:30 a.m. I keep busy, doing all those things busy people do. So the idea of doing nothing but what I wanted was a bit overwhelming. How do you do that? Won’t something fall apart?
Knowing that hubby would be working at an intense rate, I brought projects, projects, and oh yeah, some projects. Some are computer projects: organizing those photos that have been dumped into the ‘photo’ file on the computer for the last 8 years or so, cleanup general files on the computer, etc. Exercise more. Really learn to meditate. Read. Sleep. Sightsee (that will be covered in part IV). Twiddle my thumbs. Get to know hubby again. Think. Write. Play Angry Birds, a lot! Improve my tatting skills. You get the idea. Basically, whatever my mood was for the day would be my agenda, with a few chores thrown in. And I have to say, I’ve done very well for myself.
I am relaxed! I can’t remember feeling this relaxed! My mornings are s l o w. The first week or so, I was out of bed with hubby and busy busy busy, then I remembered I wasn’t supposed to be doing that this trip! So I started sleeping in. First till 6 a.m., then 6:15 a.m., then 6:30 a.m. This morning, I didn’t get out of bed until almost 7 a.m.! I read my online morning stuff; I eat a slow, leisurely breakfast. I do a few chores and catch up on any correspondence/bills/emails. I have a nice cup of tea. I catch a few friends on Facebook or Words with Friends. I try to meditate – I’m just not very good yet at turning my brain off. I do some form of exercise. Oh yeah, I could get used to this!
After lunch, I’m ready to get into a project. I work on my writing. I love working on this blog. The hardest part of writing is showing up! Writing is enjoyable for me, but doesn’t come easy. I write/delete/write/edit. I make notes. I do some research, depending on what I’m writing about. I’ve done some of the computer work; those photo files are looking better and better, and I will soon be able to actually find photos as I need them! I haven’t done much book reading or tatting; I have improved my Angry Birds skills. However, the best thing I’ve done is spend the last 4 weeks with someone I’ve wanted to know better over the last few years, me! And I’m beginning to like her, more and more!
One thing I have learned about myself: I am not a city girl. I love being here; it is exciting, but I am ready for something other than buildings and traffic noise and food smells wafting in through the open windows and yes, my windows are usually open because I prefer that to air conditioning. Fewer people to move through on the sidewalk would be good. No cigarette smoke would be fantastic! Some bird sounds would be nice. Some plants and grass would be great! A yard to dig in would be even better! I am a suburban or country girl for sure.
I’m learning to speak for myself. Sounds silly, doesn’t it? I’m almost 60; surely I would know how to do that. Actually, no, I have very little experience with it. I have always done what I thought others wanted me to do or hear me say. I would just ‘go along’. Don’t make waves. You know what I mean. A small example would be dinner: my pre-Australia response would likely be “whatever you want to do is fine”, but now, I speak up. If I want a steak, I want a steak! Hubby likes it! If I’m by myself, I have to make myself clear, especially to the poor Australian who is trying to understand my Texas/California-speak. I am learning to be unafraid to say what I need or what I mean. This is huge for me. In a way, it’s a matter of survival, because I am in an area where I don’t know anyone or where things are. I have to fend for myself. Guess what! I can do that!
For all of you who are working out of the home and in the home, dealing with family responsibilities, life responsibilities, etc., I want you to know that I truly appreciate this time. I am not without some responsibilities here, but they are certainly greatly reduced. I wish each of you could find a way to do this, and I would encourage you to figure out a way to find at least 15 minutes of private time a day if not more (an hour would be the best!). I’ve seen all those Oprah shows, too, and know how impossible it sounds to do that, but give it a try, or as they say here in Australia, give it a go, mate. You just might find out that you really are your own best friend!